One year after the destruction of the eggnog, a deep chill once again grips the republic. Frost glitters in the hearts of those who would seek to rule, and the light sabres of the Jedi remain relentlessly dark. A new resistance is needed, to lead the fight against short days and long, dark nights.
And that is where we, the combined forces of IAM and UPS come in, bringing hope to the galaxy, one door at a time.
1st December (Dave)
The Ghost drifts silently through the shadow of a moon, hoping to avoid detection by the enemy, as the rebels gather intelligence ahead of making their first move.
2nd December (Alex)
The Ghost gently touches down on the edge of the icy wilderness and Sabine Wren steps out, quickly moving so that the ship is very far away just behind her so as not to break scale. She quietly and confidently rocks her hairstyle while she waits for the Phantom to arrive.
3rd December (Jim)
As the Phantom settles gently onto the landing pad accompanied by the familiar hiss of its gas evacuators, the rebel pilot turns to his companion and smiles expansively: “I really love the new Mk III Phantom!”
The co-pilot’s head swivels sharply: “No. This is the Mk II. The Mk III has the chromite turbine fan inlets, and those as you can clearly see are vanadium!”
The pilot’s face colours: “You’re thinking of the limited edition Mk IIa with the carbonite dorsal injector couplers, and anyway the Mk II was subject to export embargoes and was never available for sale in the Galactic rim!”
The co-pilot refuses to yield: “You’re mistaken! The Mk II *was* subject to export embargoes but a small number were sold under license by Aratech Technologies inside the Minos Cluster! Also the Mk III never included the rear shield compensators which, as you can plainly see, are shown on the dashboard readout!”
Desperate to resolve the argument, they simultaneously reach for their datapads – just as the Imperial assassin droid’s missile impacts and reduces both men and their Mk IIb Phantom (neither had noticed the crynex-shielded torque vent beneath the weapon housing or the optional pistol rack mounted behind their head-rests) to their constituent atoms.
4th December (Chris T)
As the blaster cannon plummets to the ground, curiously self-aware, it channeled a bowl of petunias, thinking ‘Oh no, not again!’. Exactly why this thought went through its head is unknown, but it has been speculated that if it was understood the universe would implode.
Upon impact, the cannon fired unexpectedly, injuring Sabine and causing her to dive to the ground for cover.
6th December (Gary)
I told the storm trooper it was my ship.
7th December (Dave Shipway)
“OK lads, very funny,” growled Stormtrooper THX1139. “Who has been using my helmet as a potty again!? If I find out who did it … well, I would threaten to shoot them, but you know I always manage to miss anything I’m trying to hit … but they’ll be getting my boot up their thermal exhaust port I can tell you!
“I don’t know, first of all I get stuck on the garbage Compactor maintenance rota all week, and now this. It’s enough to make me wish I had joined the Rebel Alliance … at least they dont’ have to wear this stupid armour that doesn’t even protect you from an ewok with a catapult!”
8th December (Adrian)
Nobody ever gives us weapons-racks any credit in these sagas. And the cheek of it all, having to carry a wheel-spanner for that stupid mark two thingy in case it gets a flat!
9th December (David R.)
Just look at this beauty. Rey’s speeder has landed. Rey has gone down to Diogenes’ Barrel for a hair of the cynic.
10th December (Fiona)
Unkar’s Thug dusted the snow off his lapel as he climbed the peak of The Ice Mountain. He grimaced, realising that he may never see Niima Outpost again.
11th December (Dameon)
Overexcited as usual, the friendly local luggabeast mistakes Taslin Brace for the postman knocking him clean over in the hunt for presents being delivered… No luck today, but just a few more sleeps to go!
12th December (Jim H)
The conditions were treacherously icy, and Han wasn’t looking forward to a hill start in the Falcon. Admiral Akbar pointed out that they were expected to make every reasonable effort to attend for work as normal, so Han begrudgingly fetched his ice gear while muttering about Tauntauns.
13th December (Jim L)
Climbing up the side of the valley, Stormtrooper THX1139 looks back down at the platoon’s First Order Snowspeeder and is surprised how pleasantly the strong lines of the machine contrast with the softly undulating snowmounds sleeping about its base.
He trudges upward, the patient crunch of snow under his boots echoing like the gentle tear of wrapping paper in the hands of an expectant child. Puffs of ethereal mist momentarily envelop his helmet as he steadily breathes in and out. But he journeys on, resolute, and strangely at peace in the revolution of snow.
Glistering in impeachable beauty the sunlight reflects crazily off surrounding ice crystals, beams of light cast from their prismic edges dancing joyfully across his visor. And as he journeys upward, an unfamiliar feeling starts in his breast.
As he tops the rise and looks down on the approaching rebel convoy, a gentle smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.
“I bloody love ambushes!”
14th December (Jok)
Trevor and Barry from accounts were well known for their tank tops, Casio calculator watches and black shoes with white sock combos.
17th December (Mark)
The silver surfer looks down on Galactus’ Christmas bonbon and thinks to himself … is this the wrong franchise?
18th December (Michael)
“They sure are prettier down there,” the Y-wing pilot thought to herself as she admired the Christmas lights on the wreckage of the Imperial Star Destroyers. “They’re no fun to meet in battle – but they are a nice background to the Christmas trees!” Fortunate, too, as they were the landmark that showed they were nearly back at base – complete with the Christmas pudding supply.
19th December (Nigel)
Feeling a bit fuzzy at the edges from the stray blaster cannon shot, Sabine gazes out onto the icy tundra, daydreaming about the coming Christmas family reunion, completely unaware that cousin Kylo has already arrived, as he quietly lands his TIE Silencer onto the ice flow in the near distance behind her.
20th December (Jim H)
The tank driver was glad to have put enough distance between himself and the Cantina that he could no longer hear the band’s one song, but he blasted it to rubble just to be sure.
23rd December (Steve)
The newly created dark side force ghost mounts the battle ready Christmas
attack sleigh intent on intercepting Santa.
Can Santa survive the imminent encounter and save Christmas ….?
24th December (Dave)
There’s always one who takes things just a bit too far. The Imperial Walker will not be amused.
Happy Christmas all!